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WHAT WAS YOUR SCHOOL BELL LIKE? 

By Ann Gitari 

I had a conversation the other day with six generations of once avid school goers some now too old to remember their headmaster’s name. But they all remembered their school bells, the descriptions of which kept altering in my mind in both shape and sound until finally I had doubts about the dictionary definition of bell. 

From rusty milking buckets, to contorted Cowboy tins, the stories kept coming, some sad, some shocking, others just too funny. Can you believe school could just not run without those contraptions? Leave the hand watch. Who could afford them anyway, other than Mr. Kimani the headmaster whose fading silver coated Casio was then today’s Rolex. But that’s a story for another day. 

I tried to piece all those bell stories together, if just to make some sense of them. 

As I gathered, the first school bell was a large rusty iron sheet, which was nailed to a pole. Right next to the sheet was attached a metal rod. Upon striking the metal rod on the sheet, the device would produce a gong loud enough to prompt the next lesson or wake up a pupil who had fallen asleep. For security purposes and to ensure the bell was rung at the right time, the rusty sheet was hardly replaced. In fact the more the rust the better, for the pupils were cautioned that whoever dared to venture close to the sheet would get infected with the worst strain of tetanus and would eventually resemble its rusty, crusty appearance. That pupil would then become the new bell. As if avoiding a burning bush, no one dared to play near the bell.

Then there was the portable, bent Cowboy tin which was always in the staffroom for safe keeping. Its portability enabled the user to move around the school, banging on the tin like some crazed religious fanatic. More often than not, the tin banger (a.k.a bell ringer) also beat the school drum, the church drum and the sides of the drum that held water back at home. 

Then some wise head teacher stumbled upon a good dictionary and had a look at the word bell, saw a picture of it, then went to a certain catholic church in the city to see it in real life. The head teacher, thoroughly fascinated, had one tailored for his school. A smaller one with a nice little handle and its little ball hanging from within, just like that piece of flesh that used to hung at the roof of his throat as a little boy. He liked to use it, but because he often had to be away, he gave it to the teacher on duty. The teacher on duty, sensing early symptoms of deafness, cunningly passed it on to the head boy, who from then on became a symbol of authority to the students. 

Because of this new addition to his powers, the head boy was not liked very much and the students often disregarded his authority. They either hid the bell when he was delivering the noisemaker’s list to the headmaster or rung it at the wrong time, putting the head boy in a lot of trouble. One day, after a group of noisemakers received a good thrashing from the headmaster thanks to the head boy, the bell got lost, never to be seen again. One pupil Jerusha, said that it had probably been taken to the district hospital to have its hanging tongue removed. 

This turn of events threw the school into a state of utter confusion and anarchy. The pupils, not conscious of time came to school late and ‘unknowingly’ left school early. The only thing they were somehow never late to do was have their lunch. In fact they knew lunch time so well, that when their teacher extended his lesson into that filling moment they coined ‘swallowship’, they tapped their spoons on their plastic lunch containers until the teacher got hungry and had to leave. 

Then electricity came to the area and subsequently to school, bringing the pupils’ short lived revelry to an end. The head teacher, sensing too many ‘swallowship’ sessions and very little readership, acquired an electric bell. All it took to make it ring, say rather scream, was a push of a button tightly screwed onto one of the staffroom’s walls. The bell’s effectiveness was unmatched to any of its predecessors. Not only was it an asset to the school, but the school’s neighbors became instant beneficiaries. 

In fact Jerusha who believed the word ‘clock’ came from ‘cock’ because the latter was replaced by the former as a time giver, went to school one day and happily bragged to her classmates that their cock back at home was of no use anymore and would become dinner very soon. According to her, since the arrival of the electric school bell which could be heard from the confines of her grandmother’s kitchen, she had never been awoken by the big red avian. Hence, her need to have it written off and eaten off a plate. 

Tracing the evolution of the school bell is no easy feat, especially when that progression depends on the location of the school, the schools capacity to afford a sophisticated bell and research efforts as those taken up by Mr. Kimani and others like him. As products of various Alma Maters, we must hail the significance of the school bell in our lives. It prompted us into action, guided us through lessons and cultured us into responsible time conscious individuals, who are never patient to wait for a friend who’s running late by 10 minutes but always eager to walk into a meeting one hour late. Perhaps we have not outgrown our need for bells? 

Perhaps we need the startling kind. Like one my high school headmistress had installed. It was more of a siren, whose wailing sound you are bound to hear in Iraq just before one of those deadly air strikes. It took some getting used to but for some, it just made the heart stop. On one of those occasions when a serious bunch of Form 4 boys chanced upon our school for a symposium, I was lucky enough to catch the attention of one. After the symposium, like other classmates of mine I offered to show the guy around, much to the chagrin of their teacher who kept telling them that it was late and they had to go back to their school. But his boys were not going anywhere that fast, especially not when they were surrounded by so many girls. All efforts to round up his boys failed miserably and just as he was just about to give up, our bell wailed to indicate the start of evening prep. Before, I could show the guy my desk he jumped out of the window and dashed off towards the direction of their school bus. So did every trouser wearing figure that was at one time walking with a girl that evening. In utter shock, we went for our preps, each girl eager to write to her 404 (Four 4) and enquire what the near stampede had been about. A week later we received similar replies explaining what had come to their minds when our bell wailed. “We thought our teacher had called the police.”

By Ann Gitari

Looking at the children of All Saints Cathedral Kindergarten playing happily it is clear that they have no idea how the current political situation may adversely affect their future. Perhaps it’s best that way. Besides, they are too young, too innocent, too happy to understand the political crisis in the country. They had nothing to do with it anyway. As they play on their little swings and slides, two parents sit in the headmistress’ office, trying to plead their case.

“We are refugees in this country” one says. ” We came from Eldoret a week ago. My husband and I together with our children are living in a hotel. All we ask is for you to admit our children for a month or two before we can be able to go back home.”

The headmistress, Miss Grace Rwabu has no problem with that. Besides, though she is expecting 150 officially admitted children this year, only 100 have reported so far.

“Some are still in the clash torn areas,” she explains. “However, some parents have opted to transfer them to nursery schools closer to home or in their various estates.”

This poor show in number can be attributed to the fact that Uhuru Park, the proposed venue for the mass action rallies called by a faction of the political divide is just next door. The only structure separating Park from Kindergarten is a church, the All Saints Cathedral – perhaps God’s way of protecting his little ones.

But not all parents are convinced, and on days the mass action rallies have been called, a mere 20 students brave the tear gas and heavily armed security personnel just to learn their ABC’S.

Meanwhile, parents are being forced to purchase uniforms for schools that their children may only attend for a month or two before, they hope, they can go back home. Home, to their other teacher, their old friends, to their old school, where there are no policemen on the way to school.

Kids are often reluctant to talk about bullying. Here’s how to spot it and what to do if your child is a victim.
by Evelyn Beck

Bullying is all too common among school-age children. In 2005, one out of four children had been a recent victim of bullying. As a parent, the challenges include identifying when your child has been bullied and determining the best response.

First, it’s important to be alert to signals that something is wrong. “If your child is not sleeping, not enjoying herself, not eating, or eating too much, you know there’s something going on,” says Stan Davis, author of two anti-bullying books and publisher of the website Stop Bullying Now. “That’s an indication to increase the amount of time you’re spending with her. And point out what you’re seeing. Say ‘You don’t seem happy. What’s going on?’ ”

He cautions that the root of the unhappiness may simply be puberty or other anxieties. But spending time together doing activities you both enjoy can be a way to help your child heal as well as a way for you to glean more information.

If your child is being bullied, determine the seriousness of the behavior and whether it is being repeated. On the low end of the spectrum, if another child is sticking his tongue out at your child or acting unfriendly, you may just want to help your child deal with that. In that case, Davis says, “It’s fine to acknowledge that there are people who enjoy being mean and that young people will have distress but will have to get used to it.”

Kids can also distance themselves from this kind of bully. But understanding the need to do that can be hard for children, who tend to see only two kinds of people: friends and enemies. Parents can help them understand that there are also people you just avoid.

In the middle range might be name-calling. Davis advises asking your child what he has already tried before offering advice; that way, you won’t look stupid by suggesting ideas that have failed. Then strategize for other possible approaches. If those don’t work, it’s time to involve the school.

Then there is behavior that Davis calls “completely intolerable.” This could include threats or physical harm. In this case, involve the school immediately. But don’t overreact when speaking to your child or to the school. “It’s important for parents to have a real good check on their own emotionality before talking to their child,” he says. “The problem with showing that emotion is that the child may think Dad’s blood pressure is going up and won’t tell him the next time. Or the child worries that you’ll charge in angrily to the school and make things worse.”

The School’s Role
One solution you might expect from the school is increased supervision. “We see these problems with bullying happening during unstructured times during the day, when there are low levels of adult supervision—during transitions to and from classes, on playgrounds, during lunch periods, that’s when schools could be more active in supervising the behaviors of students.”

Another solution is that parents ask the school to separate misbehaving kids. There needs to be a concerted effort in breaking up these subcultures of bullies. The school can place them in different classes, for example.

It takes a unified commitment to ending the behavior of bullying and that targeting one particular child will not work. It takes focusing change on the whole schoolwide environment and the classroom climate, as well. It takes parents being very vocal and advocating for their kids. At the school level, it takes parents, teachers, administrators, support staff, cafeteria workers, and janitors supervising students—and the students having a voice, as well, and making a pledge not to bully or to tolerate this behavior.

You might also ask the school to encourage other kids to spend time with your child as an antidote to the social isolation that can result from bullying. Other students may stay away from the kid getting picked on, or they’re embarrassed that they didn’t do anything to help. Such isolation can be even more damaging than the bullying.

If the school is unable or unwilling to solve the problem, then approach the school board or superintendent.
What’s most important is to take action. Involve the school very early when you start to see these problems. Two-thirds of students feel that schools and adults in general do a poor job responding to bullying.

Tips to Prepare Kids for the Big Day

By: Leigh Felesky

“Will my teacher be nice? Where will I sit? Will the other kids like me?” Many kids get nervous about heading back to school. A big part of a successful first week is establishing a routine and explaining where the bathroom is, what happens when you go to gym class and when to expect recess. With a little preparation, parents can help. Here’s how to make your child’s transition a smooth one.

Get Ready! Don’t underestimate the fun and importance of new stuff for the big day. With younger kids, a bag full of school supplies, a new backpack and a few new items of clothing tend to gear them up without any further encouragement. For an older child, this may be the time to give the thumbs-up to that must-have trend item.

Show Them the Way. If she’s new to the school, show your child her classroom, what entrance and exit to use and where the bathroom is located. If she’s taking the bus, visit the bus stop location and explain how to get on and off, especially if it’s the first time. Show her the drop off and pick up spot at school, too—if you’re not sure where it will be, call the school ahead of time to find out.

Prepare the Teacher. Let your child’s teacher know about any specifics about behaviour or health, such as a bladder infection. You don’t want a child to have a bad experience because he’s asking to go to the bathroom every half hour and the teacher says, ‘No,’ thinking he doesn’t need to go so frequently but really he does.

Be Organized. Ease back-to-school anxiety by being prepared. Help your child to lay out her clothes and pack her backpack the night before. Be sure to include a healthy lunch and a snack that your child can open and eat on his own.

Take It Easy. Preparation is great—but don’t go overboard. You’re the best judge of when your child needs reassurance, and how to go about giving it. In the end, remember that it’s normal to feel a little nervous or fluttery about that first week back. Everyone, including the teachers, feels like that.

In study after study, researchers discover how important it is for parents to be actively involved in their child’s education. Here are some of the findings of major research into parental involvement:
* When parents are involved in their children’s education at home, they do better in school. And when parents are involved in school, children go farther in school — and the schools they go to are better.
* The family makes critical contributions to student achievement from preschool through high school. A home environment that encourages learning is more important to student achievement than income, education level or cultural background.
* Reading achievement is more dependent on learning activities in the home than is math or science. Reading aloud to children is the most important activity that parents can do to increase their child’s chance of reading success. Talking to children about books and stories read to them also supports reading achievement.
* When children and parents talk regularly about school, children perform better academically.
* Three kinds of parental involvement at home are consistently associated with higher student achievement: actively organizing and monitoring a child’s time, helping with homework and discussing school matters.
* The earlier that parent involvement begins in a child’s educational process, the more powerful the effects.
* Positive results of parental involvement include improved student achievement, reduced absenteeism, improved behavior, and restored confidence among parents in their children’s schooling.

How Can Parents Get Involved?
Involvement in your child’s education can mean:
* Reading to your child
* Checking homework every night
* Discussing your children’s progress with teachers
* Voting in school board elections
* Helping your school to set challenging academic standards
* Limiting TV viewing on school nights
* Becoming an advocate for better education in your community and state.

Or, it can be as simple as asking your children, “How was school today?” But ask every day. That will send your children the clear message that their schoolwork is important to you and you expect them to learn.

Some parents and families are able to be involved in their child’s education in many ways. Others may only have time for one or two activities. Whatever your level of involvement, do it consistently and stick with it because you will make an important difference in your child’s life.

Have you ever thought about the difference between talking with and talking to someone? Talking with someone puts you and the other person on an even footing. It gives more than one person a chance to express a belief or opinion. Talking to someone, on the other hand, is being — well, patronizing, or worse, domineering, even tyrannical. So only one person has a chance.

Every child knows the difference between being talked with and talked to. But many of us, when we talk — and children are the audience — don’t stop to distinguish between with and to. We respond to the needs of the moment — what must be said. As adults and parents, we feel responsible for what our children do and for what happens to them. We feel especially responsible when we have done our best and a son or daughter is not responding.

Blaming Ourselves

Let’s suppose that eight-year-old David is having trouble reading. He seems to be falling farther and farther behind at school. You have always helped him with his homework. You’ve always gone to parent-teacher conferences. You’ve read to him and had books in the house for him ever since he was small. Now you say to yourself, “What did I overlook when he was a baby? I followed those experts who said that certain toys would have far-reaching effects. But maybe the toys I put in his crib weren’t the right ones.”

You don’t say this aloud of course, because “Where did I go wrong?” sounds far too melodramatic. And besides, you don’t want to make things worse for David by letting him know that you have something for which to blame yourself. Instead, you try to talk to David about how important it is to read — both in school and out. You may even tell him how reading will improve his chances of becoming a happy adult, a doctor or lawyer, or of doing something famous like writing a bestseller.

From your point of view as an adult, that makes good sense. Your experience makes it possible for you to be wise about the skills that make adult life better and easier.

Try Listening Instead

But have you ever tried to find out how David feels about his reading right now? Have you listened to him talk about it and thought what his words meant? Maybe he says that reading a book isn’t as much fun as playing with his friend Tracy, or as interesting as watching the TV programs you allow him to see, or as exciting as working math problems. Maybe the trouble he has had figuring out the words causes him to be shy about reading in class.

In addition to listening to him, try to ask him the kinds of questions that may encourage him to give you specific information about his feelings. Don’t wait for the opportunity to stage a conversation, but talk with him about his day at school while he’s helping you put away the groceries or water the plants. With the data that comes from careful listening you can go to your next parent-teacher conference really prepared to work with David’s teacher to help him improve his reading performance.

When Stress Threatens To Get the Better of Us

Patiently listening is one thing. But what can we do about those times when we can’t help showing our anger in the most spectacular way? This spring Ann amazed you by going out for the baseball team. You’re just getting used to thinking of her making home runs when one afternoon, just as you’ve pulled into the driveway and are lifting your briefcase off the back seat, Anne and five other neighborhood kids approach you looking a little sheepish. Anne tells you hesitantly that one of her home run hits has just broken Mrs. Gavilan’s window. “Mother,” Anne says, “I didn’t mean to, I was just thinking about getting Tommy and José and me back to home plate.”

You’re furious — with the kids, with baseball in general, with Mrs. Gavilan, who doesn’t seem to like children anyway, with that briefcase full of papers you’ve brought home to work on this evening. And there stands Anne, the handiest target for your anger. You explode. “What business has a girl like you, from a family like ours….” Anne is crushed, the neighborhood kids either pin you with their stares or look everywhere but at your face, until finally one of them says, “Oh, Mrs. Mwenda, it wasn’t Anne’s fault,” and Anne murmurs, “It’s OK, Mom. I’ll fix it.” So chagrin is added to all the other burdens of the day, and you go indoors feeling a complete failure as a parent.

Be Honest

It might help to explain yourself right then. You might put out your hand to Anne and say, “I’m sorry. Sometimes I lose my temper when things don’t go according to my plans.” Then find out from Anne and the others how the accident occurred. You might even ask if she wants you to go with her to Mrs. Gavilan to see what can be done about the broken window. That would certainly change your plans for the evening.

But it would assure Anne and her friends of your support, your understanding of the accidental nature of the incident, and your ability to be fair in spite of all your other concerns. And it would disarm Mrs. Gavilan before she could organize her offensive against children “with working mothers.” Such a show of support would also assure Anne and her friends that you weren’t just being mean when you asked them to change the location of the neighborhood game so that no one’s windows were endangered.

Some Suggestions To Foster Better Communication

Whenever you want your children to know what you think and desire of them, you might keep in mind a few things that will help you focus on talking with, rather than talking to them:

* Communicate as clearly as possible exactly what you mean. Listen to your words and think how they might be misinterpreted if they don’t reflect exactly what is on your mind.
* Listen to what your children are saying. Try to understand exactly what their words mean.
* Whenever you talk with your children, take an even, reasonable, conversational tone. If you show anger, make sure later that they understand its cause. You can explain it without being overly apologetic.
* If your children have subjects they are enthusiastic about, let them teach you something about those areas of knowledge.
* Contribute your wisdom. You have had the opportunity to learn a great deal from your experiences. Don’t feel put down when your children say “in your day” or “in olden times, when you were a kid….” Remember that young people are interested in how things were done in the past, and they haven’t lived long enough to have your sense of time.
* Encourage your children’s curiosity, interest in discovery, and intellectual independence. Ask questions that make them think about their interests and want to learn more about them.

Final Thoughts

If a child is having problems in or out of school, don’t waste time blaming yourself. Although you certainly share the responsibility for your children’s development, yours is not the only influence on their behavior. Touch base often with your children about the problems they may be having. Be practical and help them look for solutions, both short and long term.

Keep in mind that you can’t shield your children from the problems of the real world. Nor can you keep accidents from happening. Some attempts at good parenting may be overzealous. By trying to avoid being too protective and solicitous for your children’s concerns you can help them to become truly independent people. An adult who is independent can also appreciate the warmth and support of close human relationships. Talking with a child is one of the best ways to show that you understand the value of that warmth and support and know how to give it.

The hope of every parent is to have children who are responsible, concerned members of society. Discipline is, of course, part of this effort. Research has repeatedly shown that, despite the importance of the peer group, parents usually have much more influence than they realize. Disciplining children takes a great deal of effort, but the main idea is that children and parents can change.

Changing behavior requires much time and well-thought-out reactions. Some parents simply do not have the time, energy or patience to attempt to motivate change in the child or even in themselves. It is not easy, but read on. You will be convinced that it can be done. You can do it!
Positive Steps Toward Better Discipline

Let your children know you like them. Tell your children how much you admire their good qualities. Don’t take their good behavior for granted. Remember to reward them once in a while. These rewards may take the form of extra time reading to your child, time spent in an activity chosen by your child, or even something as simple as a hug.

Listening to your children, hugging them, smiling or talking with them are all rewards, the kind that you can give hundreds of times every day. One of the most powerful rewards for children is the love, interest and attention they receive from their mother and father.

Let your children know exactly what you expect of them — set limits. Youngsters, who would be the last to admit it, find too much freedom frightening. Set limits for the actions that your children are not ready to control themselves. Children need to know exactly what parents expect of them and also how parents will react to their behavior.

It is important to state your requests clearly. For example, it is much easier for the child to follow the direction, “Please put your glass in the center of the table” than “Be careful with your milk. It’s so close to the edge of the table it will fall off.” Set rules that you think are important and be firm in seeing that your children follow them. Above all, do not make rules you have no intention of enforcing.

Encourage responsible decision making. Whenever possible, find areas in which you know your children can make decisions for themselves. If your child approaches you with a request you feel you should deny, try saying, “What would you say if you were in my place? What should I say? What would be my reason?” You’ll find that if you treat children as responsible individuals, their level of responsibility increases rapidly.

Set a good example. Remember that children are great imitators. While you are telling your children why you think they should not steal, cheat or be cruel to others, be sure they cannot cite some example of your behavior that contradicts these values. Be honest yourself — hypocrisy shows.

Encourage your children to respect proper authority. At home, in school and in other areas of their lives, your children need to know the importance of respecting authority. It is a simple fact that some things cannot or will not be changed. Certain rules must be followed. Help your children understand that it is harmful to them, as well as to everyone else, to have constant arguments, fights and problems with peers and adults. Let your child see how his or her misbehavior affects other people.

Have fun with your children. Young people need to interact with adults. Try choosing a regular time each week to do things as a family. Engaging in sports, playing games, sharing hobbies, visiting museums are some of the many activities that parents and children can enjoy together. In addition, initiate your children to join you in some activities in which they may not usually be asked to participate. Also encourage your children to ask questions and to express their own points of view.

What About Punishment?

Thus far, we have approached the subject of discipline from a very positive standpoint. Changing behavior with positive methods is the best way. But it is a rather slow process, and you may find some behaviors of your child that you need to change more quickly.

Punishment, if used properly, will produce rapid changes in behaviors that disrupt the family. It is strongly recommended, however, that you use punishment sparingly. It does encourage the child to refrain from certain behaviors, but your real task as a parent is to teach the child to be a person. By using the more positive methods described earlier, you can teach the child positive ways of behaving.

Effective punishment relies on withholding rewards or privileges and provides a clearcut method of earning them back. Before punishing, it is a good idea to give a cue (a physical or verbal warning that the behavior is to stop at once). Then punishment should follow immediately after the offense so that the child understands the association between the misbehavior and the punishment.

Avoid physical punishment because other forms of discipline (short periods of isolation or withholding privileged activities) focus more on the behavior and less on the self-concept of the child. Hatred builds quickly when punishment hurts the child physically.

Realistically, however, because some physical punishment is likely, care should be taken that it is neither severe nor prolonged. Physical punishment can be harmful to a child and does not accomplish the goal. Besides, no parents want their children to fear them. If a parent slaps or hits a child in anger, the undesirable behavior may stop, but two things are wrong with this method:

* both parent and child are likely to be upset for some time
* no parent can hit a child every time he or she does something undesirable.

Don’t Give Up

Consistency will determine the success of whatever discipline methods you use. Each time you ask your children to do something, you also have a job. Be predictable — follow through. Remember, too, that your children may have been misbehaving for some time. If this is the case, when you start to correct them, they may not think you mean it. They will learn that you mean business when you continue to follow your program consistently.

If you see your children slipping into behaviors you cannot correct by yourself, it may be time to seek outside assistance. When you feel you have exhausted your own efforts, your child’s teacher, school counselor, or principal, your pastor, or a child or adolescent psychologist may be able to suggest some helpful ideas and strategies.