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As parents, we want our children to learn. We know the benefits of being able to read well, to write clearly, to solve problems and to communicate effectively. Not only do these abilities allow us to earn a decent living, but they also help us to enjoy life and to appreciate its wonders and beauty.

So, as many generations before us, we preach the benefits of a good education and try with deliberate effort to uphold, at least verbally, the values of studying, of “hitting the books and burning the midnight oil.” But with our sermonettes, cajoling, and in some instances, begging and threatening our children to study and learn, many of them seem to turn away and perceive us simply as nagging parents with little impact on their daily learning. We, in turn, often feel guilty and fatigued by these constant battles for our children’s benefit, and resent our roles as minister-wardens in the service of modern education.

There is much that we can do. What follows is a checklist of parental behaviors that can facilitate the motivation of our children to learn. None of these suggestions in and of itself is enough to spell the difference between a child who studies and one who does not. Rather, it is their combination and employment as a totality that can realistically help our sons and daughters to consistently involve themselves in the pursuit of learning at school as well as at home.

Our modeling is a powerful incentive to our children’s learning. If they see us doing it, then they know it’s worthwhile and can identify with us. If they don’t see us enjoying learning, they can dismiss our support for learning as another example of “not practicing what we preach.”

The results for Kenya Certificate of Primary Education 2008 edition were released today by the minister of education Prof Sam Ongeri at the Kenya Institute of Education in Nairobi.

Also present at the event were representatives from the Headteachers association, Kenya National Union of teachers, representatives from the national parents association.

Speaking during the event, education permanent secretary Professor Karega Mutahi noted that challenges in education were renewed every year but reiterated that the government was committed to addressing these challenges. He thanked the religious organizations and Non governmental organization who had offered their facilities to be used in examining the IDPs especially in Eldoret area. The top IDP candidate had 378 pints out of a possible 500 which is recommendable.

Speaking before launching the results, The Education minister noted that there was a 28.8% increase in the number of candidates. He attributed this increase to mean that parents were taking advantage of the free education programme.

The minister noted that no big changes in the number of registrants or the performance arising from post election violence. He also said that the ministry would investigate absenteeism.

On the gender comparison on performance, gender disparity still in favour of boys. The worst case is north eastern where it is 76% boys to 24% girls. The story is different at the top positions where girls are performing as well as boys. The best student this year is a girl.

The top student from South Sudan 296 marks out of a possible 500 marks. This translates to 54% of the total . This , the minister said, is commendable considering that they have just come from years of war and social disturbance.

The minister announced a new form of cheating that is croping up. There were fiver examination centres wherre candidates and community members made the administration of the exam impossible. Candidates refused to hand over their mobile phones. Comunity members were shouting answers from the bushes and marauding youths engaged police in running battles at the examination centres. All the candidates in the five centres have their examination results canclelled

Cheating:

A total of 1835 from 65 centers candidates involved in cheating.

there was a major drop in the number of irregularities from regular schools with about 46% reduction.

the ministers thanked all the officers who had been involved in making successfull administration of their exams.

Exam results are available online at the National Examinations Council’s website: www.examscouncil.or.ke

Here are the top ten studentS countrywide:

1. mutinda monica wairimu 460pts
2. Muzera martin 454
3. Onyenga patriona akinyi 454
4. yaya salama mohammed 453
5. njogu paul m mbuthia 452
6. muguwia W S Saitoti 451
7. Nyakundi mari ochaberi 451
8. njeru collins moses 451
9. kirera davies ombati
10. mzee ramadhani mburia
11. kinyua bevr njeri
12. mutawali buluma
13. onyango collins omondi 450
14. ndirangu s daniel 450
15. njoroge charity wairimu 450
16. ousa Nilson bin okuta
17. mwangi ashley muthoni
18. mwaniki adda mishelle

Helping your children succeed in school and beyond is easy. Just get involved.
by Moira McCarthy

What if I told you an act as simple as showing up to lend a hand at your child’s school fair or taking a seat at the school’s PTO or PTA meeting could lead your child to a successful school career with excellent grades, graduation kudos, a secure college acceptance and, eventually, total world domination?

OK, it might not be that easy, but follow me: When my first child began school some 15 years ago, I was a young mother and new to our suburban town. My husband and I had chosen the town for two reasons: affordability of housing and proximity to my workplace.

As my first child began to walk and my second child came into the world, I knew only a few people; I hadn’t bonded with the group I remembered my own mother hanging with: the involved parents who not only helped make things happen but supported their children in all their efforts.

At the groundbreaking of a new library in town, I talked with an older mom briefly. She asked me what I thought of the town, and I answered her honestly: “I’m not sure there’s anyone I can relate to.”

She smiled, patted me on the back, and said simply, “It will all work itself out when Leigh starts school. You’ll meet them all at the PTO meeting.”

Was she ever right. Today, with Leigh well into her sophomore year at a prestigious college (after graduating near the top of her high school class) I can safely say things seem to be working out, and I can trace it all back to that first day I stepped into a school volunteer situation.

It was the planning meeting for the Family Fair, and despite having worked for years as a crime reporter, I was scared. Since I was a relatively young mom (28 when Leigh started kindergarten), I felt a bit like the Junior Girl Scout peeking in on the Gold Circle Ceremony. And I quite literally knew almost no one. Looking at the group as I walked in, they looked so tight. So connected. So already a club. Would they accept me? Could I really be one of them?

They did, and I am. Because the fact is, school volunteer groups are hungry for parents like me—parents who are not only interested in being a part of their child’s education but also willing to do what’s necessary to keep the school running the way it should.

Parents can sometimes be scared off from volunteering. They work; it’s hard to find the time. They don’t know anyone; it seems like such a tight group. They’ll be asked to run major events that professional planning companies would struggle with. Be assured, as you consider volunteering on behalf of your child, there is a place and a time commitment for everyone.

The great thing is, no matter what you have to give, we all get the same in return: a feeling of partnership with our children and their school. A feeling of belonging in that community. You’ll be setting an example for your children, telling them that school, and all it is about, is an important part of their world right now. And you’ll make friends.

As the top students were called to the stage at my older daughter’s high school graduation, I noticed something amazing: They were all children of the parents I’d met around the PTO table. I leaned over to one mom, tapped her on the shoulder, and said, “We must have picked the right crafts for crafts night!” She knew just what I meant.

So as you start your child’s school year, whether you’re a newbie like I was or just been away from it for a while like many others, give school volunteering a chance. You’ll be most welcome. And when your child is leader of the free world, you can trace it all back to running the hula-hoop contest on Field Day. I know I’m going to.

How To Get Involved
School parent groups are about building a supportive community where teachers, administrators, and students can do their best work. Here are just a few ways you might be able to help.

• Serve as a guest reader in your child’s classroom
• Talk to a class about your job or hobby
• Design a booth for the school carnival
• Volunteer as a translator
• Staff a school welcome desk
• Serve as a resource for parents of incoming students
• Help children pick out books at the book fair
• Record a cassette tape for students to read along with
• Participate in a phone tree to help schedule parent volunteers
• Collect recyclables to be used in the classroom
• Coach students in organizational skills
• Enter fundraising orders on the computer
• Help with school cleanup or landscaping
• Organize a school talent night
• Type up class lists
• Serve on a school council or advisory board
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By: Joan E. LeFebvre
At some point, most of us have been witness to a painful scene: A child’s separation-anxiety meltdown. It goes something like this: A three-year-old wails “Don’t leave me here! I wanna go hooome!” as his frazzled mother attempts to loosen the iron grip he managed to establish on her leg. Clearly, no amount of lighthearted “won’t-today-be-fun” banter on the drive to preschool had managed to stave off this episode. She probably dared to believe he was prepared, hoping against hope for a nonchalant kiss on the cheek and breezy wave goodbye. But nope. She found herself in the octopus-like clutches of a child with separation anxiety.

Although a strong relationship with parents helps children to cope with their anxiety as the time for goodbyes approaches, first “big” separations can be challenging for child and parent alike. As soon as babies have the capacity to remember a parent, beginning at approximately seven months of age, many children weep as though they’ve been eternally forsaken when mom or dad walks out the door. Toddlers cling koala-like to their mothers when they sense her imminent departure.

Separation fears may be more intense in children who are temperamentally “slow-to-warm-up” and have difficulty making transitions or entering new situations. They can experience a variety of emotions such as anger, guilt, jealousy, confusion, hurt, and fear. Preschool children may regress to outgrown behavior like whining, crying, and bed-wetting, or may become more aggressive and demanding. So what can be done to minimize the chance that your child will suffer from fears of separation?

Security Blanket or Favorite Toy
Linus was onto something: A favorite toy or blanket can help your child feel more confident and secure. Research shows that children who are given “transitional objects” cry less when they are separated from their parents. These children are also able to explore their environment more actively and focus on and learn new tasks better than children not in the possession of a favorite item.

No Parental Guilt!
Parents often feel guilty and distressed about their child’s natural reaction to a separation and may unwittingly prolong and reinforce a separation reaction. There are two ways in which a parent can go wrong here: By leaving too soon and by not leaving soon enough. You walk a fine line, and choosing the perfect moment to make your move can be tricky. But whatever you do, be sure to say goodbye. Don’t just sneak out as soon as your child’s attention is diverted. On the other hand, don’t linger. Reassure your preschooler through your words and your actions that everything will be fine in your absence and that you will come back for him soon.

Suggestions for Parents
Before you leave, tell the child you are going, and mention when you will return. It may help to say something like “…and I’ll pick you up at 11 o’clock just like last week” to enable her to imagine the duration of her separation from you. In order to bear being apart, a child must know that the parent will return.

After you say you are leaving, go! If you linger because of the child’s whining, then you are teaching your child that whining is an effective way to get what he wants.

Expressing affection for your child is appropriate, but separation is made more difficult if you, the parent, verbally or nonverbally express ambivalence, guilt, worry, or uncertainty about leaving the child. Be confident! The parent’s emotional response to separation is a common cause of the child’s emotional response.

Practice with brief separations first. Show your child that you return reliably.

Don’t be late picking your child up! Be on time, or even a little early. Children can get very distressed, feeling abandoned if all the other children have been picked up and they’re “left alone.”

Provide a consistent routine that children can count on, and stick with it. Most adults feel more secure when they know what’s going to happen next. Children have an even greater need for routine.

Allow children some time to get accustomed to new people. Kids feel more secure when they know and trust their caregivers. If your child is slow to adapt to new situations, she may even need a few weeks to transition. Patience is key.

Separation anxiety is normal; to children, separation is the most threatening of all situations. On rare occasions, however, it may be a red flag that there’s a problem that you should know about. Talk to your child and your day care provider about what your child experiences at day care. Perhaps she gets teased by other children or is afraid of the class’s pet guinea pig. Maybe he thinks the teacher looks like mean Uncle Albert! Whatever the cause, when separation anxiety persists it makes sense for you to be proactive and sleuth out the reason so that it can be addressed and overcome.

Never Threaten a Child With Separation
Parents sometimes resort to threatening little children with “going away” in order to frighten them into better behavior. It’s true this often results in some improvement in the child’s conduct, since the possibility of losing a parent is so upsetting that he will do anything to avoid it. But these threats may also produce extreme anxiety in the child. Basically this kind of threat tells the child that you would be willing and able to leave him at any time. A bad act, he realizes, might cause him to lose his parents forever. Better for the child to be confident that he can count on your love and support through thick and thin.

To Sum It Up
Be patient and thorough when explaining the reason for your departure to your child. Doing so can help her feel confident that you will return, and that she hasn’t done anything “bad” to make you leave. Because young children lack a real understanding of cause and effect, they may not be clear on points that you consider obvious. If your child does regress to outgrown behavior, you may need to adjust your expectations and standards. Strive to establish a consistent routine. Pay particular attention to basic needs such as sleep, meals and exercise. Your child needs to feel that you are dependable, that he can count on you to do as you say you will. Use separations as opportunities to build the level of trust between you.

With all the stomachaches and sniffles that come along with childhood, it can be hard to know when to keep a sick child home from school.

Most schools have policies that spell out how sick is too sick to go to class. Although policies vary from one community to the next, in general, children should go to school if they have cold symptoms without a fever and stay home if they have an infectious condition or a cold with fever. In addition, students should stay home if they have any of the following:

• Diarrhea
• Vomiting
• Coughs that produce phlegm
• Thick, yellow nasal discharge
• Fever of more than 100 degrees that lasts more than 24 hours
• Flu

Among the most common illnesses seen by school nurses are the flu, impetigo, conjunctivitis, head lice, and pertussis, according to Susan Marley, an executive committee member with the National Association of School Nurses. She recommends the following for these common conditions: Flu: Children should stay home until they go at least 24 hours without a fever.

Impetigo: This bacterial skin infection forms open sores and crusty scabs, usually on the face, arms, or legs. If your child has an open sore that you suspect is impetigo, it should be checked by a doctor before coming to school. Conjunctivitis (pinkeye): Pinkeye may be caused by a virus or bacteria or may result from an allergic reaction. See a doctor to determine whether your child’s pinkeye is contagious.

Head lice: If you think your child might have head lice, have the school nurse take a look. If evidence of lice is found, your child should stay home until all lice and nits have been removed. Pertussis (whooping cough): Because pertussis is highly contagious, you should take your child to the doctor right away if you suspect that your child has it.

Ringworm: Have the school nurse check out possible cases of ringworm and determine whether the child needs to see a doctor. If a diagnosis of ringworm is confirmed, the child should be treated before going back to school. In addition to following these guidelines when your child is sick, consider your child’s ability to interact with others and pay attention in class.

Even if a child is recovering from an illness and is technically well enough to go to school, it may be in the child’s best interest to stay home and rest, Marley says. “If they’re still very sleepy and irritable,” she says, “they’re going to have a harder time learning and socializing in school.”

How to Tell (and What to Do) When There Is a Delay
By: Kevin Klein

My friends Dave and Patricia have two kids, Xavier and Declan. They’re what are technically known as “beautiful” boys: huge eyes, long lashes, button noses, and mischievous grins. Both are sociable and cuddly, but while six-year-old Xavier speaks like an adult, two-year-old Declan doesn’t talk yet.

In fact, until a month ago Declan had not even begun to babble or imitate the outside world. He laughed, cried, and screamed with gusto, but the critical aspect of language development was missing. Fortunately, Patricia is trained to help kids with special needs, and she and Dave have been able to get Declan the help that he needed.

Chances are if your child is developmentally delayed, you and your pediatrician will pick up on milestones that just aren’t being met.

Checking Developmental Milestones
The first step in recognizing possible delays in development is to compare your child’s abilities with the expectations for the average child at his or her age. The following milestones for social interaction and language skills come from First Signs, Inc., a national non-profit organization dedicated to educating parents and pediatric professionals about the early warning signs of autism and other developmental disorders.

Four months: Follows and reacts to bright colors, movement, and objects. Turns toward sounds. Shows interest in watching faces. Returns smiles.

Seven to eight months: Sits unsupported. Imitates sounds. Crawls. Claps, points, waves. Bangs two objects together. Understands “no” from your tone of voice.

12 months: Uses a few gestures to get needs met and likes using hands to communicate, share, or point. Will turn to a person speaking or when his name is called. Plays peek-a-boo or other social games. Makes rudimentary mono-syllabic sounds such as “ma,” “ba,” “da,” and “ga.”

15 months: Exchanges smiles, vocalizations, and gestures with you. Uses pointing and other motions to draw attention to something, uses voice to get needs met or garner attention. May be able to speak and understand three or four words, such as “momma,” “poppa,” “bottle,” or “bye-bye.”

18 months: Uses lots of gestures as well as words to get needs met, like pointing or taking you by the hand and directing you to something. Uses at least four different consonants in babbling or words, shows that he knows the names of familiar people or body parts by pointing to or looking at them when named, and plays simple pretend games (like feeding a doll).

24 months: Engages in complex pretend play (such as feeding a doll then putting it to sleep). Uses and understands at least 50 words and can string words together. Enjoys being with children of the same age and is interested in playing with them and/or sharing toys. Looks for a familiar object out of sight when asked about its whereabouts.

36 months: Enjoys pretend play with different characters and with a story line, enjoys playing with other children, uses thoughts/actions together with speech to communicate and play. Will answer simple “who,” “what,” and “where” questions easily and talks about things in the past and the future.

It’s important for parents to remember that a chart of milestones can’t take the place of a screening test performed by a specialist. Rather, the milestones chart will only help parents know whether they should raise their concerns—and also how they can explain those concerns to the doctor. For parents who want more specific resources before consulting with a doctor, there are screening tools available for order online. The medical testing company Forepath (www.forepath.org) offers its PEDS Child Development Screening Test over the Internet for a small fee. The online test also includes the M-CHAT (Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers) for parents whose children are over 18 months but younger than five.

Talking to Your Child’s Doctor
Once you’ve identified areas of suspected delay in your child’s development, make an appointment with your general practitioner or pediatrician. While these doctors rarely get involved in the diagnosis and treatment of developmental disorders, it is generally necessary to get a referral from them for a consultation with the appropriate specialists. To confirm her suspicion that Declan was undergoing a developmental delay in language, Patricia checked a range of milestone charts. She saw that Declan’s problem-solving, cognitive, and motor skills were all normal; however, he was several months overdue for milestones in receptive language (understanding what is spoken to him) as well as expressive language (speaking to others). She took him to the family practitioner, who referred her to a speech pathologist and an audiologist.

Visiting the Specialists

As in Declan’s case, the referral from a general practitioner or pediatrician will usually include more than one specialist. The audiologist found that Declan’s hearing was at the lowest level of the normal range; due to repeated ear infections, he has fluid in his middle ear that will require tubes to drain.

Hearing plays a significant role in children’s development of language, especially in children up to three years, who fall into what the National Institute on Deafness and Other Communicative Disorders has termed the critical period for language development. The expectation is that Declan’s language abilities will jump once his hearing improves; if they don’t, however, there may be other problems preventing his development and further tests by other specialists (such as psychologists and neurologists) would be undertaken.
After the audiologist’s testing, the speech pathologist did a developmental assessment on Declan and determined that his receptive language development was six-months delayed and his expressive speech was twelve-months delayed. The specialist recommended speech therapy every two weeks. After two months of therapy, Declan’s vocabulary increased from two to 25 words. Declan’s story is turning out well so far, thanks to early and rapid intervention. His mother knew exactly what kind of assessments to expect and which treatments would be recommended depending on the results. However, for concerned parents who feel overwhelmed by a lack of understanding about their child’s problems, specialist visits can be intimidating.

Managing Problems
While some developmental delays can be overcome through treatment, as in Declan’s case, often the assessment of these delays can lead to the diagnosis of one of a range of Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDDs), the most commonly known of which is autism. PDDs are often called Autism Spectrum Disorders because they are classified by the severity of the symptoms present. For example, autistic children have significant deficits in social interaction and communication and they tend to engage in repetitive behaviors such as rocking and stroking or tapping themselves. By comparison, children with Asperger’s can use language much more effectively, although one symptom of Asperger’s is a fixation on an object to the extent that the person speaks to others mainly about that object, regardless of social situation. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, symptoms of PDDs can be detected in children as early as from birth to one year. In terms of assessment and treatment, doctors will generally refer to a child psychologist or psychiatrist if a PDD is suspected. Treatment can help alleviate symptoms of PDDs (for the child as well as the child’s family), but as the term “pervasive” suggests, these disorders cannot be outgrown or cured. Finally, a word on recognizing, testing, and treating sensory integration problems. The concept behind these problems has been around since the late 1970s, when occupational therapist A. Jane Ayres presented a theory unifying some children’s highly exaggerated sensory responses—of touch, taste, sight, smell, and sound—under the term Sensory Integration Dysfunction (SID).
For example:

A child with auditory defensiveness may cover his ears and throw a tantrum if his kindergarten class sings a song together.

A child with tactile defensiveness may violently resist wearing shoes or may be agitated by the inside tags in her clothing.

More detailed descriptions of children with SID can be found on the website for Carol Kranowitz’s benchmark book on SID, The Out-of-Sync Child. Perhaps because SID has been largely studied and treated by occupational therapists rather than psychologists, and because its definitions are still being clarified, SID does not appear in the DSM-IV, the official manual of mental disorders. Diagnosis and treatment of SID, then, must usually be undertaken by an occupational therapist certified to administer the Sensory Integration and Praxis Tests (SIPT). While not categorized as an Autism Spectrum Disorder, SID presents parents with the similar challenge of early detection and intervention—not because SID can be cured, but so that the child and his family know how best to minimize and adjust to the symptoms.

By: Barbra Williams Cosentino, RN, CSW

Jack, age nine, constantly gets into trouble in school, squirming in his seat, shouting out answers without being called on, and sometimes standing up for no apparent reason. His homework and classroom assignments are a mess, his backpack is disorganized, and his room at home is in disarray. He has trouble staying focused on schoolwork, but his mom says in frustration, “He can concentrate on Play Station games for hours without losing focus.” Emily, also nine, has been called a daydreamer for as long as she can remember. In class, the teacher frequently observes her doodling in her notebook, curling a strand of her long brown hair around her finger, or staring out of the window. When she sits down to do her homework at night, she often discovers that she forgot to write down the assignment or that she left a book she needs in her desk at school. Although Emily is very bright and never gets into trouble in school, her difficulty with organization and concentration have begun to negatively affect her grades.

Two children, a boy and a girl. Although their behaviors look very different, they have both been diagnosed with having attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), a behavioral disorder characterized by three major symptoms:

• bullet Inattention: the child has difficulty sustaining attention, listening, and attending to details.

• He or she is easily distracted, often loses things, and presents as forgetful and disorganized.

• Impulsivity: the child may have poor frustration tolerance and may have trouble waiting, taking turns, or sharing.

• Hyperactivity: the child seems to be constantly in motion, squirming, fidgeting, running, and climbing more than other children. He or she talks excessively and at inappropriate times.</UL= bullet

Clinicians may diagnose a child with ADHD, combined type, or with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, predominantly either inattentive type or hyperactive-impulsive type.

More than one million children in the United States have been diagnosed with this disorder, which until recently was believed to be anywhere from four times to nine times more prevalent in boys than in girls. However, researchers have reported that, partially because girls tend to be inattentive rather than hyperactive and therefore less disruptive in school and at home, many girls go undiagnosed or are mistakenly believed to suffer from anxiety or depression as a primary diagnosis. One oft-quoted study suggests that as many as 75 percent of girls with ADHD may be missed. In 1994, ADHD researchers at a conference sponsored by the National Institutes of Health concluded that there was a need to develop rating scales that are more sensitive to ADHD as it typically manifests itself in girls, since the criteria listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) were and are somewhat limited, not necessarily reflecting the signs and symptoms exhibited by a girl with ADHD who is predominantly inattentive and distractible, rather than hyperactive. Pediatrician Williams Sears, MD, author of The ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) Book, states that boys with ADHD are more likely to act out in school, becoming either the class discipline problem or the class clown, whereas girls tend to be more withdrawn and “spacey.” In some respects, adds Sears, boys enter school with a disadvantage, since the traditional classroom mode of teaching is usually geared more to the female gender. Girls seem to adapt better to the traditional classroom situation, which requires children to sit still for long periods of time. Sears feels that children with ADD often do better with male teachers, who may talk less and who may have a teaching style that helps restless or disorganized children to more consistently pay attention. Not surprisingly, he also finds that fathers tend to be more tolerant of their child’s hyperactive behavior than mothers. Other researchers have found that mothers of girls with ADHD are more critical of their offspring’s behavior than are mothers of sons with ADHD. Harlan R. Gephart, MD, Immediate Past Chair of the American Board of Pediatrics and an ADHD expert, points out that while hyperactive boys tend to be referred for evaluation somewhere between ages five and seven, the referral spike for girls is often in middle school (ages 10-11), when previously well-functioning girls begin to be overwhelmed by the complexity of classroom changes, increased homework assignments, and large class sizes. These girls begin to fall back academically due to their increasingly obvious disorganization, and they also begin to struggle socially.
Research done in the past ten years has also suggested that ADHD affects males and females differently. A 1999 study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIH) compared 140 ADHD girls with 122 control girls and found that:
<UL= bullet Girls with ADHD were more likely to have innattentive symptoms as opposed to hyperactive-impulsive symptoms and disruptive behaviors seen in boys.

Compared to girls without the disorder, girls with ADHD had significantly higher rates of comorbid behavior disorders (conditions that occur at the same time) such as oppositional defiant disorder and conduct disorder. (Although these rates are lower than those seen in boys with ADHD.)

Girls with ADHD displayed higher levels of mood and anxiety disorders (consistent with those seen in boys with ADHD) than in children without ADHD.

As compared to non-affected youngsters, girls with ADHD appear to be at higher risk of increased alcohol and drug usage (including smoking).

Contrary to previous studies which found that girls with ADHD demonstrated greater cognitive impairment than boys, this study found that the magnitude of cognitive impairments was consistent with reports on boys with ADHD. In August 2002, results of the first national survey to explore gender differences in ADHD were released, with findings that have important implications for diagnosis and treatment. The study, carried out by Harris Interactive on behalf of Novartis Pharmaceuticals Corporation (makers of several drugs used to treat ADHD), interviewed more than 3000 people (parents of children with ADHD, adolescents age 12-17 who have ADHD, teachers, and the general public) to document perceptions surrounding the disorder. The survey findings suggest that girls with ADHD face greater impairment in important areas of social development than boys with the disorder, including having more trouble making friends, getting along with parents, or feeling good about themselves. (Fifty-five percent of parents of girls agreed that their daughters’ ADHD affects their self-esteem a great deal, as compared with 46 percent of boys’ parents.) Results of the survey show that girls with ADHD are three times more likely to be treated for depression than boys with ADHD. “Unfortunately, all too often girls with ADHD are missed altogether or misdiagnosed with depression because girls tend to internalize their symptoms. Therefore, the unique difficulties that girls with ADHD encounter are often prolonged,” says Patricia Quinn, MD, Director, National Center for Gender Issues and ADHD and an independent advisor on the survey. The survey results showed that girls’ parents were more willing to seek medical assistance for their child’s symptoms than boys’ parents. Ninety-two percent of parents of girls were “very willing” to seek help, as compared to only 73 percent of boys’ parents. Approximately two-thirds of parents of boys received pressure from family and friends to not put their child on medication, whereas this was the case in only 31 percent of the parents of girls. Most teachers did not realize that girls with ADHD are more likely to have difficulty with social relationships, with three out of ten teachers believing that boys with ADHD were more likely to have difficulty getting along with others. The majority of teachers (85 percent) thought that girls with ADHD are more likely to go undiagnosed, and the majority of them said this is because “girls don’t act out.” Seventy-seven percent of teachers surveyed said they suspect they have children with ADHD in their classes who have not been diagnosed. Approximately 79 percent of the general public surveyed said medications have been helpful for those they know with ADHD, but only 52 percent of the public believes it is “very important” to treat and diagnose this condition. Of the adolescents surveyed, most who were receiving medication for their ADHD felt it was helpful in important aspects of their daily lives, including getting along with parents (82 percent), feeling good about themselves/feeling happy (80 percent) and making friends (67 percent). Almost all the youngsters on medications felt that their treatment has helped them to focus on schoolwork (95 percent) and “to get things done” (94 percent). Although ADHD has long been thought of as “a boy’s problem,” experts agree that the disorder is widely underdiagnosed in girls. As we learn more about gender differences in ADHD, it becomes clear that continuing to educate parents, teachers, healthcare professionals, and the general public about this disorder and how it manifests itself differently in boys and girls is a crucial first step in facilitating early, effective diagnosis and treatment.

In study after study, researchers discover how important it is for parents to be actively involved in their child’s education. Here are some of the findings of major research into parental involvement:
* When parents are involved in their children’s education at home, they do better in school. And when parents are involved in school, children go farther in school — and the schools they go to are better.
* The family makes critical contributions to student achievement from preschool through high school. A home environment that encourages learning is more important to student achievement than income, education level or cultural background.
* Reading achievement is more dependent on learning activities in the home than is math or science. Reading aloud to children is the most important activity that parents can do to increase their child’s chance of reading success. Talking to children about books and stories read to them also supports reading achievement.
* When children and parents talk regularly about school, children perform better academically.
* Three kinds of parental involvement at home are consistently associated with higher student achievement: actively organizing and monitoring a child’s time, helping with homework and discussing school matters.
* The earlier that parent involvement begins in a child’s educational process, the more powerful the effects.
* Positive results of parental involvement include improved student achievement, reduced absenteeism, improved behavior, and restored confidence among parents in their children’s schooling.

How Can Parents Get Involved?
Involvement in your child’s education can mean:
* Reading to your child
* Checking homework every night
* Discussing your children’s progress with teachers
* Voting in school board elections
* Helping your school to set challenging academic standards
* Limiting TV viewing on school nights
* Becoming an advocate for better education in your community and state.

Or, it can be as simple as asking your children, “How was school today?” But ask every day. That will send your children the clear message that their schoolwork is important to you and you expect them to learn.

Some parents and families are able to be involved in their child’s education in many ways. Others may only have time for one or two activities. Whatever your level of involvement, do it consistently and stick with it because you will make an important difference in your child’s life.

Have you ever thought about the difference between talking with and talking to someone? Talking with someone puts you and the other person on an even footing. It gives more than one person a chance to express a belief or opinion. Talking to someone, on the other hand, is being — well, patronizing, or worse, domineering, even tyrannical. So only one person has a chance.

Every child knows the difference between being talked with and talked to. But many of us, when we talk — and children are the audience — don’t stop to distinguish between with and to. We respond to the needs of the moment — what must be said. As adults and parents, we feel responsible for what our children do and for what happens to them. We feel especially responsible when we have done our best and a son or daughter is not responding.

Blaming Ourselves

Let’s suppose that eight-year-old David is having trouble reading. He seems to be falling farther and farther behind at school. You have always helped him with his homework. You’ve always gone to parent-teacher conferences. You’ve read to him and had books in the house for him ever since he was small. Now you say to yourself, “What did I overlook when he was a baby? I followed those experts who said that certain toys would have far-reaching effects. But maybe the toys I put in his crib weren’t the right ones.”

You don’t say this aloud of course, because “Where did I go wrong?” sounds far too melodramatic. And besides, you don’t want to make things worse for David by letting him know that you have something for which to blame yourself. Instead, you try to talk to David about how important it is to read — both in school and out. You may even tell him how reading will improve his chances of becoming a happy adult, a doctor or lawyer, or of doing something famous like writing a bestseller.

From your point of view as an adult, that makes good sense. Your experience makes it possible for you to be wise about the skills that make adult life better and easier.

Try Listening Instead

But have you ever tried to find out how David feels about his reading right now? Have you listened to him talk about it and thought what his words meant? Maybe he says that reading a book isn’t as much fun as playing with his friend Tracy, or as interesting as watching the TV programs you allow him to see, or as exciting as working math problems. Maybe the trouble he has had figuring out the words causes him to be shy about reading in class.

In addition to listening to him, try to ask him the kinds of questions that may encourage him to give you specific information about his feelings. Don’t wait for the opportunity to stage a conversation, but talk with him about his day at school while he’s helping you put away the groceries or water the plants. With the data that comes from careful listening you can go to your next parent-teacher conference really prepared to work with David’s teacher to help him improve his reading performance.

When Stress Threatens To Get the Better of Us

Patiently listening is one thing. But what can we do about those times when we can’t help showing our anger in the most spectacular way? This spring Ann amazed you by going out for the baseball team. You’re just getting used to thinking of her making home runs when one afternoon, just as you’ve pulled into the driveway and are lifting your briefcase off the back seat, Anne and five other neighborhood kids approach you looking a little sheepish. Anne tells you hesitantly that one of her home run hits has just broken Mrs. Gavilan’s window. “Mother,” Anne says, “I didn’t mean to, I was just thinking about getting Tommy and José and me back to home plate.”

You’re furious — with the kids, with baseball in general, with Mrs. Gavilan, who doesn’t seem to like children anyway, with that briefcase full of papers you’ve brought home to work on this evening. And there stands Anne, the handiest target for your anger. You explode. “What business has a girl like you, from a family like ours….” Anne is crushed, the neighborhood kids either pin you with their stares or look everywhere but at your face, until finally one of them says, “Oh, Mrs. Mwenda, it wasn’t Anne’s fault,” and Anne murmurs, “It’s OK, Mom. I’ll fix it.” So chagrin is added to all the other burdens of the day, and you go indoors feeling a complete failure as a parent.

Be Honest

It might help to explain yourself right then. You might put out your hand to Anne and say, “I’m sorry. Sometimes I lose my temper when things don’t go according to my plans.” Then find out from Anne and the others how the accident occurred. You might even ask if she wants you to go with her to Mrs. Gavilan to see what can be done about the broken window. That would certainly change your plans for the evening.

But it would assure Anne and her friends of your support, your understanding of the accidental nature of the incident, and your ability to be fair in spite of all your other concerns. And it would disarm Mrs. Gavilan before she could organize her offensive against children “with working mothers.” Such a show of support would also assure Anne and her friends that you weren’t just being mean when you asked them to change the location of the neighborhood game so that no one’s windows were endangered.

Some Suggestions To Foster Better Communication

Whenever you want your children to know what you think and desire of them, you might keep in mind a few things that will help you focus on talking with, rather than talking to them:

* Communicate as clearly as possible exactly what you mean. Listen to your words and think how they might be misinterpreted if they don’t reflect exactly what is on your mind.
* Listen to what your children are saying. Try to understand exactly what their words mean.
* Whenever you talk with your children, take an even, reasonable, conversational tone. If you show anger, make sure later that they understand its cause. You can explain it without being overly apologetic.
* If your children have subjects they are enthusiastic about, let them teach you something about those areas of knowledge.
* Contribute your wisdom. You have had the opportunity to learn a great deal from your experiences. Don’t feel put down when your children say “in your day” or “in olden times, when you were a kid….” Remember that young people are interested in how things were done in the past, and they haven’t lived long enough to have your sense of time.
* Encourage your children’s curiosity, interest in discovery, and intellectual independence. Ask questions that make them think about their interests and want to learn more about them.

Final Thoughts

If a child is having problems in or out of school, don’t waste time blaming yourself. Although you certainly share the responsibility for your children’s development, yours is not the only influence on their behavior. Touch base often with your children about the problems they may be having. Be practical and help them look for solutions, both short and long term.

Keep in mind that you can’t shield your children from the problems of the real world. Nor can you keep accidents from happening. Some attempts at good parenting may be overzealous. By trying to avoid being too protective and solicitous for your children’s concerns you can help them to become truly independent people. An adult who is independent can also appreciate the warmth and support of close human relationships. Talking with a child is one of the best ways to show that you understand the value of that warmth and support and know how to give it.

When your child doesn’t know a word in her reading books, should you tell her what it is? Should you teach your child the alphabet before he starts school? We have compiled reading tips to help parents best help their children learn to read:

Tips for Reading to Preschoolers

* Snuggle with your child with her favorite blanket or toys as you read.
* Read with expression using different voices for different characters.
* Emphasize rhythms and rhymes in stories. Give your toddler opportunities to repeat rhyming phrases.
* Encourage your child to repeat what you say or comment on it. Encourage your child to ask questions. Provide models of interesting questions and examples of possible answers: “I wonder what is going to happen next? I think the rabbit will get lost because he is not paying attention to where he is going. What do you think?”
* Look for books that are about things that interest your toddler. For example, does your child like cars, insects or animals?
* Give your child a chance to choose his own books for reading. If your toddler chooses a book that is too long to hold his attention, read some and skip some, discussing the pictures and how they relate to the story.
* Read stories again and again. Your toddler enjoys repetition, and it helps her become familiar with the way stories are organized.
* If your child is curious and is making comments about letters, there is no reason why she should not become familiar with the alphabet before she starts school. Playing with alphabet blocks and singing “The Alphabet Song” are happy ways for your child to become acquainted with letters.
* Make books a joyous and important part of your child’s life. Read to him every day. Let him talk about the stories. Ask questions about the pictures. Ask him to point out pictured objects that are alike and different in shape and in color. This activity helps children to observe small differences in the shapes of letters and words when learning to read.
* Avoid baby talk. Speak to your child in grownup language now, so she will recognize words she sees and hears in the classroom. Also, baby words for objects may be laughed at by the other youngsters.
* Provide a variety of experiences. Take your child to the zoo, the park, the airport. Teach your child the names of animals, flowers, etc. In order to understand the words encountered in reading, your child should have first-hand experience with the objects they stand for.
* From time to time, give your child simple, consecutive instructions. For example: “Pick up the ball, then bounce it, then put it on the table.” Make a game out of it, if you like. Such activities will help your child develop memory skills and follow directions accurately, both of which are essential in school.
* Set a good example as a reader—read every day at home even if it is a magazine or newspaper.
* Make reading fun, a time that you both look forward to spending together.

Tips for Reading to and with Children in Kindergarten–Class 3

* Keep reading to your child even when he can read. Read books that are too difficult or long for him to read alone.
* Try reading books with chapters and talk about what is happening in the story. Encourage your child to make predictions about what will happen next and connect characters or events to those in other books and stories.
* Talk with your child about reading preferences that are beginning to develop. Ask whether she likes adventure stories, mysteries, science fiction, animal stories or stories about other children. Encourage her to explain the reasons for preferences.
* Talk with your child about favorite authors and help him find additional books by those authors.
* Take turns reading a story with your child. Don’t interrupt to correct mistakes that do not change the meaning.
* Talk about the meaning of new words and ideas introduced in books. Help your child think of examples of new concepts.
* Talk with your child about stories using the notions of the beginning, middle and end of the story to organize thinking and discussion.
* Ask your child to tell why a character might have taken a specific action. Ask for information from the story to support your answer.
* If he wants to read aloud to you from his school book, listen attentively. If he stumbles over a word from time to time, simply tell him what it is. However, if he misses many words in material with which he should be familiar, consult his teacher.
* When she reads aloud to you, don’t try to use teaching techniques, such as having her “sound out” words. Instead, enjoy the story together, laugh over it, discuss the plot, praise her for reading especially well, or for figuring out a word for herself.
* Give children extra opportunities to read. Let them read the directions for that new game or for putting model airplanes together. Ask them to “help you” by reading the cookie recipe or traffic signs.
* Introduce the pleasures of the public library. Let him browse. Get a library card for her. Let him choose books that he wants, rather than books you feel he should read. Buy books for children, too, as the basis for a home library of their own.
* Set a good example as a reader—read every day at home even if it is a magazine or newspaper.
* Make reading fun, a time that you both look forward to spending together.

Tips for Reading to and with Children in Class 4-6

* Take turns reading a book with your child.
* Ask your child to compare a book to another familiar book. How are the characters alike or different? Do the stories take place in similar settings? How are the illustrations the same or different?
* Ask what part of the story or book your child liked best and why.
* Ask if your child liked the ending of the story. Why or why not?
* Ask your child what type of mood the story or chapter in a book creates. Ask how the author creates the mood. For example, does she use certain words, events or settings that create a particular feeling?
* If your child has read more than one book by the same author, ask how the books are similar or different.
* Provide your child with a reliable home dictionary and encyclopedia. Encourage children to look up subjects that puzzle or interest them. In school, reading lessons include library research.
* If your child is not enthusiastic about reading, choose books on subjects sure to interest her or him: books on sports, books of riddles or magic tricks, books on hobbies. Be sure they are not too difficult for your child to read.
* If she’s a television rather than a reading fan, see which programs she prefers and provide suitable books on the same subjects. If Westerns are her favorites, for example, she’ll probably enjoy some of the fine children’s books now available about the early West.
* If a young person is an avid comic book reader (ages 9, 10 and 11 are likely to be), don’t make a big issue out of it. Make sure your child is also provided with other more worthwhile books that offer lively adventure in an easy-to-read format. Most children outgrow the comic book phase, if other literature is available in their homes.
* Set a good example as a reader—read every day at home even if it is a magazine or newspaper.
* Make reading fun, a time that you both look forward to spending together.